My alarm went off at 8:00am. My days have been fairly busy since last Friday, and I have a feeling they will only get busier.
My first stop was the family doctor, or in this case it was the nurse practitioner that covers for my family doctor when she is off. We debated a bit over how long I should be placed off of work, and we settled on two months, for now. I also asked to review my report that the hospital sent to my doctor’s office following last Friday’s events. I assumed it would make me feel better if I saw it for myself – hence the title of this blog. My platelet count is a little low, but not alarmingly so. The large mass in my abdomen is 12.6 x 4.5 centimeters (which classifies the tumor as “bulky”), effectively taking the shape of a plump cucumber. It is also encasing the mesenteric blood vessels (google comes in handy here). There is, as well, a number of abnormal lymphnodes all over the mesentery. I have satisfied my curiosity at the expense of stripping away any doubt that it could be cancer. Or maybe today I am just feeling sorry for myself. I think I’m entitled to my moment of weakness.
The next stop was the bank to see what kind of insurance we have on our mortgage and line of credit. This actually turned out better than I thought. Won’t go into details here but at least it looks like a cancer diagnosis won’t financially cripple us.
In the next few days I will be talking to my HR rep at work to see if I get short term disability or if I should go straight to EI and go on sick leave.
I never would have imagined the sheer volume of stuff that needs to be done when you are facing a cancer diagnosis.
A hot bath is in order to calm my nerves. And then I’m going to go about my daily business, looking like the picture of health (this is where explaining to curious coworkers why I am off work gets tricky). And I’m going to stop feeling sorry for myself because it’s unbecoming.
Thanks for checking in,