Assuming makes an ASS out of U and ME

My alarm went off at 8:00am. My days have been fairly busy since last Friday, and I have a feeling they will only get busier.

My first stop was the family doctor, or in this case it was the nurse practitioner that covers for my family doctor when she is off. We debated a bit over how long I should be placed off of work, and we settled on two months, for now. I also asked to review my report that the hospital sent to my doctor’s office following last Friday’s events. I assumed it would make me feel better if I saw it for myself – hence the title of this blog. My platelet count is a little low, but not alarmingly so. The large mass in my abdomen is 12.6 x 4.5 centimeters (which classifies the tumor as “bulky”), effectively taking the shape of a plump cucumber. It is also encasing the mesenteric blood vessels (google comes in handy here). There is, as well, a number of abnormal lymphnodes all over the mesentery. I have satisfied my curiosity at the expense of stripping away any doubt that it could be cancer. Or maybe today I am just feeling sorry for myself. I think I’m entitled to my moment of weakness.

The next stop was the bank to see what kind of insurance we have on our mortgage and line of credit. This actually turned out better than I thought. Won’t go into details here but at least it looks like a cancer diagnosis won’t financially cripple us.

In the next few days I will be talking to my HR rep at work to see if I get short term disability or if I should go straight to EI and go on sick leave.

I never would have imagined the sheer volume of stuff that needs to be done when you are facing a cancer diagnosis.

A hot bath is in order to calm my nerves. And then I’m going to go about my daily business, looking like the picture of health (this is where explaining to curious coworkers why I am off work gets tricky). And I’m going to stop feeling sorry for myself because it’s unbecoming.

Thanks for checking in,

Tina

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About TinaMuslimah

30 year old Muslim revert. Writing about life between two worlds.
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4 Responses to Assuming makes an ASS out of U and ME

  1. dodi43 says:

    Tina,
    We all love you and are praying for you and your family. Thanks for the blog and keeping us up to date. If there’s anything we can do, please please let us know.
    Love
    Glo

  2. Nicole Green says:

    Oh Tina! I was too young to really understand my feelings when I was sick, but I’m so upset thinking you might have the big “C”. Even though I went through it, I can’t imagine how you must feel. I’m crying for you as I write this and wish there was something I could do for you, other than tell you that you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself and have moments of weakness. I am and will pray daily for you and love you!

    Love Nicole

    • Big sister bean says:

      I feel the same way Nicole. When she first mentioned a mass to me I cried so much it actualy made me sick. I was also too young to remember or even understand much of anything. Just that I was sick and the Drs were there to make me better. When she pulls through this, because I know she will. The three of us will walk the survivors lap together at the relay for life. I can’t wait for that day!

  3. Hi Tina
    Bob and i are very sorry to hear about your health problems.You are a tough young woman like your mom, and i know you will come through this ok, Your mom probably told you that i have my church praying for you, and they are faithful, and so is God. He will help you through this Tina, dont be afraid to ask Him hon,for strength and courage and healing.Thank you for doing a blog, it is good to be able to read it.We love you like a niece honey, we’ve always felt that way about you girls since you were little. I still have your lovely art work and carry that one you made me when you were 11 in my wallet still. I’m glad your mom can be there with you.She’s a great mom.
    Love n’ hugs
    Norah n’ Bob
    I’ll write you every so often.You will be in our prayers daily xoxo

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